Everybody Becomes Family

Thanksgiving at a soup kitchen

Kevin Shelanskey

Kevin Shelanskey called the 27 volunteers together to give last-minute Thanksgiving Day instructions prior to opening the doors at Mother Marianne’s West Side Kitchen.

Before assigning people to their posts, he first made an appeal.

“I just met a family out there that doesn’t have enough money to buy diapers for their children. Can we come up with some money and get diapers for them?”

The volunteers began reaching into their pockets and pulling out one, five, ten and 20 dollar bills. Within seconds, $113 was handed over to two women who volunteered to go on a diaper run. Trish LaBella and Lisa Morgan returned with enough diapers and baby wipes to hand out to several families who came in from the freezing rain to enjoy a traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

“It’s a side effect of what we’re doing, but it’s awesome,” said Kevin, a counselor at John Bosco House who chaired the soup kitchen’s Thanksgiving effort.

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Not quite sure how many people to expect, chef Bill Bogan, Kevin and crew prepared over a dozen turkeys, 60 lbs of potatoes, 20 lbs of stuffing, plus vegetables, squash, sweet potatoes. And, thanks in large part to the Knights of St. John, some 135 pies were donated.

Kevin said they ended up serving about 100 people. Greeters wished them a Happy Thanksgiving and directed them to sit at a table of their choice. Servers quickly followed with trays of a full turkey dinner, and before they were finished, New Hartford Troop 4 Boy Scouts Zachery Connolly and Christian Sierson made the rounds with trays of desserts and whipped cream.

Several families came to volunteer, all having a similar purpose:

• as parishioners, “we feel good to give back to the community; I feel pride,” as Michele Connolly noted;
• “to give back and see smiling faces,” as Giovana Annatone said;
• “to help out” and “teach their children” about assisting people in need, as Vikki Commisso put it.

Kevin himself said something similar, pointing to “community service” as a way to keep youth well-balanced and grounded, as he watched his high school freshman daughter, Ashley, pitch in. “It hit home for her,” he noted, especially after seeing someone she knew from school come in for a hot meal.

Perhaps volunteer Patty Nessel, there with family and friends, summed it up best:

“Everybody becomes family, including people you don’t even know.”

Snow Day Brings Out Young Volunteers

Monday was a snow day, with many school closings in the greater Utica area.

That meant more youngsters would be showing up with the adults at Mother Marianne’s West Side Kitchen. And three of them, it turned out, were volunteers.

Moriah and Sophia with grandmother, Linda VanDusen.

Moriah, a 17-year-old student at Proctor High School, and her 11-year-old sister, Sophia, decided to join their grandmother, Linda VanDusen, a regular Monday volunteer. Sophia said she wanted to help because, as her sister, Moriah, put it: “I heard they were short-handed and there were people in need.”

That was because Volunteer Coordinator Katie Koscinski, OFS, put out an urgent call for help when it looked as though the snowstorm was sidelining several Monday regulars (especially when new volunteer Kathy Leslie showed up to an empty building).

Before long, a bevy of volunteers joined Kathy and began donning hairnets and disposable gloves, preparing food, prepping serving trays, brewing coffee, making hot chocolate, putting out ice tea and punch, and setting up serving stations.

Joshua and David Schiavi

Among them were David Schiavi, a 6th grade teacher at Conkling School, and his 13-year-old son, Joshua, who took advantage of the snow day to help out.

Volunteering at a soup kitchen is a practical part of Joshua’s social studies curriculum, David noted.

Quipped Joshua: “I do it because my mom wants me to.”

Joshua is a bit of a celebrity at the parish. As his dad put it: “Father (Richard) Dellos saw an essay he wrote on fatherly love, and asked him to read it at the Father’s Day masses.” So “he memorized it and gave it in church at every mass.”

Up to then, Joshua had no interest in public speaking, noted David, who also is the speech and debate coach at Proctor High. “Father Dellos kick-started it.” Joshua just won second place in an area speech contest, and has his sight on state competition.

Kathy Leslie

Meanwhile, some 76 adults and 10 children came in from the wind and snow for a meal at the soup kitchen.

“They help a lot of people,” including struggling families, noted the new volunteer, Kathy. Remembering volunteering with her grandmother at parish events, she said: “I thought it would be good to come in and help out.”

Meanwhile, 11-year-old Sophia told her grandmother she really enjoyed helping out.


“She wants to keep her hairnet and put it in her memory book.”

Seeing God in Those on Margin of Society

Lepers were once truly afflicted outcasts, and because of that, the term is sometimes used for dramatic effect in describing those on the margins of modern society – such as the poor, the homeless, the disabled. In 13th century Italy, it came as a shock for many, and an inspiration for others, when Francis of Assisi saw instead the image of God in lepers and took it upon himself to embrace them.

Katie Koscinski, OFS

Katie Koscinski, OFS, has come to have a similar high regard for those who are nourished at Mother Marianne’s West Side Kitchen. Besides being the recently appointed volunteer coordinator, Katie is a Secular Franciscan who was involved in the soup kitchen’s founding.

“I don't want to just give them food for their stomachs. I want them to feel loved, welcomed and respected. To me each person who walks into the kitchen is Jesus.”

An array of faces, and that's just the volunteers

Dana, Kiersten and Alyssa

It was their first day volunteering at Mother Marianne’s West Side Kitchen.

The trio of graduate students from Utica College will be back every Wednesday for the next two months as part of the master’s degree program in occupational therapy. They prepared trays to hand out to guests who packed the soup kitchen Wednesday, Sept. 21.

“I think it’s a really great program (here),” noted Dana Simpson, who was there with fellow first-year grad students Kiersten Stone and Alyssa Almeida.

Shirley Schmelcher

Bob Suprenent

While the three were new to the soup kitchen, there were a few Wednesday regulars.

Among them were Lynda Schmelcher and her parents, Shirley and Bob Schmelcher. Lynda was serving food along with Elvira Turpin (who volunteers four days a week).

Shirley was helping with preparations in the kitchen along with Bob Surprenent (who volunteers Mondays and Wednesdays, prepping food, doing dishes, “whatever needs doing” and “enjoying it").

Elvira Turpin & Lynda Schmelcher

Xaverian Brother Leonard Wojtanowski, CFX, a retired teacher, was busy washing dishes and putting away pots and pans.

“It’s really rewarding,” notes Shirley. “For some guests, this may be the only hot meal of the day.”

She and her family are “giving back” because “the community has been good to us,” especially when they had operated a roller skating rink decades ago.

The Wednesday crew chief, Cheryl Wakeel, was popping up everywhere, including spending a moment with Cindy Green, a work life skills community assistant from Oneida-Lewis ARC.

Br. Leonard

“I find satisfaction from helping here in the soup kitchen,” Cheryl says. “It’s a feeling I can’t describe. I get so much more back than I give.”

Meanwhile, Bob Schmelcher was out in the dining hall entertaining guests on his “echo harmonica,” a semi-circular contraption boasting seven harmonicas. He was showing off with a performance of Edelweiss.

Like many of the new regulars, Bob and his family have been volunteering for a couple of months.

“It was my wife’s idea.”

Cheryl Wakeel & Cindy Green

Bob Schmelcher with echo harmonica

To Be a Hero

Mother Marianne's West Side Kitchen marks it third anniversary this month.

It all started in 2008 when Deacon Gil Nadeau was inspired by the Gospel passage on the Transfiguration of Jesus on the mountain – and like the apostles who came down from the height to get to work, it was time for the parish to come off the mountain and do something for the hungry of the neighborhood.

It's more than 70,000 meals later. Or as soup kitchen supervisor Vicki Montalbano would say, 70,000 blessings later.

"The blessings flow from the kitchen and we are grateful to be able to serve," Vicki notes. "After all, who we serve are on our Lord's guest list, and all are welcome."

This weekend Deacon Gil preached on the Transfiguration again, where Elijah and Moses appeared, and a voice in the cloud declared, "This is my son." And Jesus was radiant like the sun.

Deacon Gil compared it to the light of faith. An unmistakable inner glow.

There are many examples. Take Mother Teresa. Quoting British journalist Malcom Muggeridge, he said: "Her love is luminous."

John Paul II had it, he said, and also Martin Luther King Jr.

But, he said, we don't have to do what they did to be heroic and radiate with the light of faith.

"Each of us is called to be a light in the darkness of this world…"

"To be a hero, you just need to do something good -- such as helping the needy... feeding the hungry... sheltering the homeless... supporting the ministries."

Like the volunteers of Mother Marianne's West Side Kitchen.

Giftedness

The wonder of life is all about us. It’s just that sometimes we don’t see it…until someone with a gift of sight brings it into focus for us. A giftedness rooted in the Gospel.

Such giftedness was apparent at two recent award presentations.

One was on Oct. 19 in Utica, New York, where the Resource Center for Independent Living (RCIL) honored Deacon Gil Nadeau and the volunteers of Mother Marianne’s West Side Kitchen with its Community Support Award for feeding the poor and homeless.

The other was a week later in Scottsdale, Arizona, where the U.S. Secular Franciscan Order, during its national gathering, honored Franciscan Friar David Buer, OFM, with the National Peace Award for his work with the homeless and migrants.

Deacon Gil recounted how a simple altar call to help serve the hungry of the neighborhood resulted in volunteers immediately stepping forward. He made the appeal after referring to the Gospel passage about the Transfiguration of Jesus on the mountain, where the apostles Peter, James and John realized it was time to come down off the mountain and get to work.

“From the time our first volunteer coordinators sat down to plan this ministry, it was 18 days until we opened our doors. Since then we have served some 65,000 meals. This is an especially significant number since we serve only lunches.”

A week later, Brother David told how he was inspired to work among the poor and homeless. A passage in Matthew’s Gospel “shot through me” – the one where Jesus says, “whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.” And St. Francis of Assisi, the spoiled son of a wealthy merchant, had a life-changing moment when he encountered a leper on the road: Instead of giving him wide berth, Francis embraced the leper. “Who are the lepers of today?” Brother David asked. “Who are the marginalized people?”

Brother David entered the religious order later in life, making his permanent profession in 1996 – a year before he arrived in Las Vegas, where he established Poverello House, a daytime refuge for the homeless. In 2002 he established a second Poverello House in Henderson, NV. He also went on a two-week vigil and fast in Las Vegas, living in a tent on a vacant lot to publicize the need for more shelters. A group of homeless men befriended and protected him during the vigil. “It put me in solidarity with those who have less.” Next he was assigned to Tucson, AZ, where in 2008 he established another Poverello House and where, for the past five summers, he set up Cooling Centers at two churches six days a week (three days at each church). The homeless could escape the oppressive summer heat in an air conditioned center and find food, cold beverages and a place to relax and read.

Through the work of the soup kitchen, along with his hosting meetings of the Mohawk Valley Homeless and Housing Coalition, Deacon Gil’s eyes were opened to another unmet need – homeless youth and young men.

It has taken nearly two years – a little longer than the 18-day launch of the soup kitchen – but Deacon Gil (with his team of fellow deacons, volunteers and staff, and parish, community and diocesan support) is ready to open John Bosco House on Jan. 31, the feast day of St. John Bosco. The shelter will initially house six young men, aged 18 to 21, with around-the-clock supervision. Eventually, he said, the shelter may house up to 18.

Located in the former St. George’s Church rectory, just a few blocks east of the soup kitchen, “the program will provide a safe home-like atmosphere and life-skills training,” he told St. Joseph-St. Patrick parishioners recently at Sunday Mass. “The goal is to make these young men self-supporting and transition them back into society.”

“These young men urgently need help,” he added. “They’re living on the street, or they’re crashing” wherever they can find a place for the night.

In Arizona, Brother David told some 80 regional ministers and observers representing 14,000 Secular Franciscans across the U.S.: “It’s my experience that we can expect God’s blessing when we bring these people -- the poor, the homeless, the migrants -- into our circle of love.”

Deacon Gil put it another way for parishioners: “How will Jesus remember us…if we could help the homeless?”

Divine Hospitality

Sunday’s Gospel message was from Luke, where Jesus attends a banquet. He suggests that guests adopt a humble attitude, rather than jockey for positions of honor, and advises the host that it would be better spiritually to invite guests incapable of repaying his generosity – “the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind.”

“Our Lord gives us today a divine way of hospitality,” Fr. Richard Dellos, pastor, told parishioners at Sunday Mass. He also teaches “a humble way of doing things.”

Humility, he said, is the basis of spirituality, and relates to love that is freely given, without thought of repayment.

“That is why our soup kitchen is such a beautiful thing,” Fr. Dellos asserted. It’s about helping the hungry and not expecting anything in return.

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Mother Marianne’s West Side Kitchen has seen a jump in the number of people coming to the soup kitchen this summer, reports Deacon Gil Nadeau, director.

Most of them are kids.

Thus, the need for extra volunteers in the dining room.

Meals served to children average 150 to 200 in a month. But volunteers served 549 meals to kids in June and another 408 meals in July. Total meals for June and July were 2,522 and 2,384, respectively.

A total of 16,133 meals were served year-to-date through July, a 26.15 percent jump over the same period last year – or 3,345 more meals, the deacon reports. And since opening in March 2008, West Side Kitchen has served 58,245 meals.